The Scrivener's Diary » Belief Systems

The God Men

Alan Stancliff — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 19:40:22 +0000

Godly Men’s Conference. (Satire)

A participant (Wynne R) in the wonderful Castlecops forum provided this link to a story about an organization for Christian men only, as in no females allowed. The idea is that participating fellows can be real guys, let down their hair as far as their crewcuts allow, and level with each other without the sissifying influences of the distaff side of the human race. Guys can talk cars, rock-and-roll, barbecue, etc. Oh, and no preachers are allowed to talk, just the regular guys.

But I would really be afraid of attending that God-man thingy, and I am a big guy. Moreover, I would certainly would discourage my sons from going. There is too much risky behavior in such venues. It sounds like it may be a place where young guys could easily contract the dreaded medical condition called MBMAS (Male Brain Migration Arrest Syndrome).

This horrifying syndrome is not talked of much in Christian circles for reasons given below. To understand this terrible scourge, one must know a bit about male human biology in the early stages of development of manliness

Anatomists have recently discovered that the human male’s brain at the beginning of puberty is actually between the thighs. In normal male development, it slowly migrates up the spinal column until it lodges between the ears by about the age of 35, depending on the rate of maturation of the particular male individual. However, in some guys, it kind of gets stuck mid transit, owing to trauma, etc. This manifests itself physically in arrested maturation. There are an astonishing number of guys where it never manages to escape its original location and just becomes incarcerated in the region of the perineum, kind of like a hernia or pustulant boil.

Some scientist theorize that this is proof that the devil actually created the universe in a moment when God was distracted by something else more important, which is why this theory is not all that popular among many scientists of the Christian faith. Oddly, enough, most atheistic scientists are doubtful too, for reasons we cannot go into here. However, this theory seems to have found particular favor among certain New-Age Practitioners, assorted Shamens, and a sprinkling Druid scientists.

By the way, according to the most recent genetics research, it is untrue that the unsightly and embarrassing condition called HPS (Hairy Palm Syndrome) is somehow caused by MBMAS. Although we have come a long way in our understanding of both these phenomena since the human genetic sequence was deciphered, we still do not have a handle (so to speak) on the exact relationship between these two tragic syndromes. Some scientists think that the occurrence of both these condition in so many individuals may just be a statistical fluke or coincidence.

Two Fallacies about Homosexuality

Alan Stancliff — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 03:00:10 +0000

I originally posted this on the Cakewalk Forums, Coffeehouse Section back in 2004. During their normal housekeeping, they removed this posting. It got quite a few comments. I have edited it slightly.

There are two fallacies about homosexuality that many sincere people believe. Here are some considerations for all fair-minded individuals to consider:

Logical fallacy 1: Many Christians Feel Homosexuality Is Against God’s Law.

This argument is based on faith. As the Bible says, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, and evidence of things unseen.” (Hebrews 11:1). An article of faith purports to be a bit of knowledge that does not come through rational evidence. If something can be known from physical evidence and replicable experiment or logic based upon physical evidence, it can’t be faith. Those Christians who have been saying that homosexuality is a sin on this forum have quoted the Bible to prove their point. But their point cannot be accepted unless one unquestionably and uncritically accepts at least those verses as being the revealed word of God.
As a consequence, there has been a fair amount of heat between those who think homosexuality is some kind of sin because some verses in the Bible say so and those who don’t accept the validity of those verses. But there can never be a meeting of minds unless the believer is willing to accept as valid the mounting evidence that homosexuality is a natural human variant like left-handedness. Moreover, many animal species, including dogs, penguins, bonobo chimps, and sheep have members who practice homosexuality. Therefore, if God created these species, God must approve of this behavior in them. However, because most believers will accept faith over any evidence science can come up with, faith trumps reason and this argument does not convince them.
There are things in the Bible that no Christian on this board believes. For example, in Deuteronomy 21:18-21, the Bible says that if parents have a stubborn son, they should turn him over to the authorities to be stoned to death. In Leviticus, Chapter 19, Verse 19, it says that one should not plant two types of plants in a field, and one should not wear cloth woven of more than one type of thread. So a logical question to ask of these Christians who condemn homosexuality as being unbiblical is this: If one is not going to “pick and choose” which Bible verses to act upon or believe, why would you not turn your disobedient son over to the authorities for death by stoning or punish all those miscreants wearing Dacron-cotton overalls while they tend their organic farms that have a variety of plants?

Logical fallacy 2: The natural function of sex is procreation, and so homosexuality is a dangerous perversion of what is natural.

This also is fallacious because it assumes what it sets out to prove. That is known as a circular argument. One of the natural functions of sex is procreation, but very few believe that it is the only function. But to say that the only natural function of sex is procreation is quite different than saying one of the natural functions of sex is procreation. That is like saying the natural function of the tongue is to taste and so using it to speak is a perversion. To me it seems quite likely that sex also has a social and interpersonal function. We are social creatures, and the humans and bonobos are the only species whose females have the ability to enjoy sex. For both humans and bonobo chimps, sex plays an important role is social institutions, relationships, and loyalty. And homosexuality is widely practiced by the bonobos as noted above, even more than among humans. Therefore one cannot logically conclude that homosexuality is unnatural because it cannot lead to procreation, because this argument assumes that procreation is the only natural function of sex against much evidence to the contrary.
A sub corollary to this fallacy is the often-made statement that if all humans were to be homosexual, the human race would be extinguished, and so homosexuality must be a perversion. I have heard both Christians and Muslims say this. However, this is the famous slippery-slope fallacy. If all humans were to be stonemasons, the human race would die out too, because we would have no farmers or carpenters. If all humans were to be full-time musicians, we would all die out too. Human history shows that homosexuals are always a minority, as are left-handed people or people with eyes of different color, etc. And contrary to what many social conservatives think, the vast majority of homosexuals are not trying to “convert” anybody. As a matter of fact, I suspect that the ratio of heterosexuals trying to convert homosexuals is about a billion times greater than the number of homosexuals trying to convert heterosexuals. I don’t think you can find any homosexual web sites dedicated to converting heterosexuals. but you can find plenty of Christian web sites about converting homosexuals.

Comments are welcome.

New Blog Software

Alan Stancliff — Sat, 09 Sep 2006 06:33:20 +0000

Update: Nov 9, 2009

This blog has been inactive for quite a long time, and this was my first post right after I had put in the wonderful Wordpress software. I just went through reinstalling an update to this software to address security issues.

I will be posting more in the future here.

September 9th, 2006 by Alan

If you have been visiting, you may have noticed that the blog looks quite different. There is new software being used for this blog. I had cobbled together the previous blog, and it had gotten to be too cumbersome to maintain. Moreover, lots of spammers had joined up just to have another link. I will try to stay on top of that.

I hope to be adding back the old users bit by bit and restoring the old posts. Meanwhile, please understand that I reserve the right to remove any comments for any reason.

Regards,

Alan